Diary of a 20 Something: Chit Chat about Vlogging, Relocating, and Re-Branding

Diary of a 20 something

I haven’t blogged in so long and that is partly because I’ve been thinking about the re-branding of the blog. I want to be real with people and show readers that so many 20-somethings go through some of the same things and that none of us is alone. Teaching people how to become a slightly better version of themselves is so helpful and necessary, but there also needs to be a space where young women’s concerns, stresses, and just life experiences can be shared and acknowledged. There needs to be a space where young women, especially of color can be like “hey, other people go through this” and “wow, I’m not just living in the twilight zone”, considering the weird things that happen in your 20’s and maybe even 30’s (I’m not there yet so I wouldn’t know).

I still haven’t figured out what that looks like for the blog,  although I do feel like vlogging fits into that space. So, that is something I am exploring at the moment.  However, this week I needed to just write SOMETHING because as content creators, we don’t always have to wait for the perfect post or the perfect time to create and release new content. I also haven’t written anything in a while because I have been fully immersed in teaching 4th grade which has been an interesting and welcome change for me.

Anyways, vlogging is something I’m very interested in. Many people who read and love the blog have asked me to create a YouTube channel because some people just don’t enjoy reading. I totally get it.  However, I am a perfectionist and don’t want to start making videos that aren’t quality as far as aesthetics, content, and just garnering people’s interest. It is the fear of failure sometimes that stops me from going full steam ahead with something. However, I’m taking my time to make an informed decision about whether vlogging is something I want to do and something I have time for realistically.

Where I’m at right now…

Next, I wanted to talk about relocating. I have relocated numerous times, depending on what you consider relocating. I went to college in Pennsylvania, close to Buffalo, NY. Then I moved to Washington, DC after I graduated to experience big city life and be closer to my hometown, Baltimore. I loved DC but it was a bit pretentious and expensive for my taste. However, I find myself missing DC now along with my dc friends and considering it a second home. After 2 years in DC, I decided to move south to Houston, TX for the warmer weather and the lower cost of living. I LOVED Houston and started to meet people and establish a life. Then, I fell in love with a guy who I am currently with (shout out to him and to love and all that stuff) and found myself in San Marcos, TX between Austin and San Antonio.

I must say I have managed to form a love affair with every place I have lived EXCEPT this one. I’m not sure what it is about the Austin area that just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe it is the fact that I haven’t made any friends here or I don’t get out much or that I live in a small college town and the big city is 30 miles away. Not sure, but I know that I am ready to move to a location that is ideal for buying a home and living long term. I have lived many places because I have chosen for my life to be that way, being a single 20 something. Now, I am growing and longing for stability and I think one more relocation is in my near future. Not sure where that will be, but closer to family on the east coast or in the southeast would be ideal. Any suggestions? I totally also want to write a post about my relocations and my experiences living in each of these areas. I believe that the place you live can have a major effect on your overall happiness and your life and plan to discuss that more in detail in a later post. Relocations are something that most 20 somethings either go through with or think about at some point.

My next post will be more structured perhaps, or maybe not but the Diary of a 20 Something will be a series of posts you can find under categories where I will chit chat about life, struggles, thoughts, ideas, plans, and the things that we face every day as we are in the words of SZA, stuck in those 20 somethings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Navigate Feeling Lost in Your 20’s

Personal Growth Journey

All week, I have been planning on writing a travel post about relocation and why I have relocated twice since I graduated from college. That post will definitely come later if people are interested. But, my intuition told me to write this post because of where I am currently. I thought that a post about this weird millenial, quarter-life crisis thing that most people experience in their 20s (and really at any time) would speak to so many people.

Sometimes I tend to get overwhelmed and have a lost feeling when it comes to my career and my life’s work. I literally feel unfulfilled and like there are a million things I should be doing, a million places I could be. But, part of me has no idea what those things are and what those places could be. These are things that I do to help me to navigate those times when I feel like I have no freaking clue about anything! Sometimes, I get overwhelmed by the amount of possibility that life offers compared with the potential I feel that I have. Then I end up feeling defeated and overwhelmed. It happens but this is how I find my way when it seems impossible…

 

  1. Revisit Life Goals: When you feel lost, it is super helpful to revisit your life goals. What have you done lately to push yourself to reach those goals? What things are you doing today to help you reach those goals? What will you do this week to help you reach those goals? This motivates me in every way to get up and go do something that really contributes to accomplishing a goal. In the grand scheme of things, you have a lot to accomplish and a lot to be passionate about. Once you have written down your life goals, you have more direction for your life than you think. Most of the things you do should be related to reaching those goals in some way. Read them, internalize them, and make moves.
  2. Find Inspiration: When you feel like you lack direction, listen to a podcast, watch a Youtube video, read a personal growth blog or book. You should be dedicating some time each day to this. I find myself feeling the most lost when I haven’t invested time into myself and my personal growth. Invest in yourself so that you have passion and dedication to give to everything in your life. A lack of direction causes a lack of passion and that is something that begins to diminish your ability to reach the goals you have set for yourself. My personal favorite Youtubers are KalynNicholson, LavendaireLifestyle, and AmbrosiaMalbrough. I love listening to GaryVee on IG or his Podcast. There also several other Podcasts I love and listen to regularly for inspiration in addition to the books I read.
  3. Do Something You Love: Doing something engaging that you love and that ideally helps you to reach a life goal is an integral part of maintaining direction in your life. I love to write and so I find that posting to the blog actually makes me feel full and accomplished, even though I shy away from posting when I’m having a tough time navigating life. Do something that brings you energy and good vibrations. Do something that reminds you what you love and guides you back to what you want to ultimately accomplish in life.
  4. Remind yourself that YOU are in control: It is SO important to remember that we are in control of our own lives (God ultimately, but he gave us free will). If you are stuck, it is because you made a decision to be that way. We are not victims of our circumstances but creators of our reality. It is important to realize that if we want to be somewhere else, we can.  You can choose to do anything, be anything, go anywhere. Don’t choose to let it overwhelm you. Let it inspire you and motivate you to go in a direction and if you hate it, go a different way.
  5. Get in touch with your spirituality: My faith in god has allowed me to be able to meditate, engage in dialogue, and have some direction in and about my work. Having a spiritual place to go to regroup and reorganize the feelings you have about the purpose for your life has been absolutely life-changing for me. Find a spiritual place that works for you and lean into that when you are lost. Put your life into perspective. Ask yourself why you are here, now? Rewrite your life goals if you have to. Find a place that continuously pushes you back to your life’s purpose.

 

These are ways that I navigate through the times when I feel lost and uninspired. There are so many times when we go through those feelings of comparing ourselves to other 20 somethings, making difficult decisions that actually seem impossible, and just getting overwhelmed because we feel like we aren’t where we should be. Acknowledge those feelings, then let those feelings of anxiety die. Feed your purpose and your passions so much that they thrive.

 

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How To Be A Realist Without Placing Limits on Yourself

Personal Growth Journey

During my career transition journey, I have found myself placing so many limits on myself, labeling it as realism. People often get confused about the differences between being a realist and placing limits on yourself. This misunderstanding is easy to have because the two are so closely related. However, it is SO important that we know the difference between the two so that we can live a life that fulfills us in the most amazing ways.

I don’t measure my success by other people’s standards and I don’t compare myself to others intentionally or as much as I used to in the past. Comparing myself less and doing fewer things just to make others happy with my choices was a huge part of my personal growth journey. However, I first began to notice that I was placing major limits on myself when my boyfriend told me not to take small opportunities when I knew I was worth more and to have the patience to wait for bigger and better. This was so enlightening for me and really empowered me to reach for bigger and better. I realized that I am enough and that there is no harm in shooting for opportunities that seem like a bit of a reach.

Planning for the launch of my vintage boutique has also made me realize that I have habitually placed limits on my potential. I found myself afraid to make certain decisions, postponing the launch over and over again because I am afraid of failure. I’ve looked at other boutique owners and thought that I wasn’t going to be as lucky to have such a successful business. I have succeeded to convince myself that I am not “them”. These are times when it is important to recognize that you can be realistic without ruling things out and placing limits on your potential or abilities.

So what is the difference between being a realist and placing limits on yourself?

When you are a simply a realist without placing limits on yourself, you make decisions based on a mixture of fact and intuition. You are “realistic” in your decision making but you don’t box yourself into a certain job or life. When you place limits on yourself, you allow negative self talk to convince you to go one way over another. When you place limits on yourself, your mind places a box around you and within it lie your abilities and your potential.

After realizing that I was placing limits on my potential, I realized that I was living carefully, inside certain boxes, on eggshells trying not to break any rules. I have moved away from that limited mindset by taking a shot at opportunities or activities that I may not have before. I have practiced envisioning myself doing things I may not have previously. Your mind can be your worst enemy or your greatest ally but I think you have to make that choice.

If you leave this post with nothing else, leave refusing to place limits on your potential. Live life intentionally but STAY OPEN. Don’t box yourself in and stick to the limits that your mind places on you to do things, avoid things, look, or live a certain way. Most importantly, step a little bit outside of your comfort zone from time to time. You might love it. If you hate it, you go back and try something else.

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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Career Update: What I’m Doing Now & My Lack of Inspiration

My Journey

Lately, I’ve been struggling with a lack of inspiration in my work. I want to be open about the fact that SURPRISE: I’ve returned to teaching for now. Also, I’m currently working on shopping for inventory for my online vintage boutique, which I am so excited about launching this year. I’m developing my blog and my brand in my off time. I’m so excited about journeying through personal growth and in that same space, exploring entrepreneurship and developing my own passions!

With all that going on, I’m facing some roadblocks in my creativity. Have you ever just felt uninspired and in a creativity rut? Ever felt like you were so bogged down by everyday struggles that you lost the fire that you had for your passions? I have felt just that lately. Feeling stuck and longing for guidance from intuition for next steps is a common thing. You are NOT alone and those feelings are valid. However, I believe so deeply in the work I’m doing. I have so much more to accomplish.

There are so many blog posts and articles on a lack of inspiration. I think that this is common among content creators, but there are so many things that you can do to get out of the rut and get back to work. The key is re-centering yourself, reflecting on your thoughts, and meditating to clear your head space. These are all things I’ve been working on to clear my own head space and create some amazing content for the site.

In the coming weeks, I will be talking about why I went back to teaching, minimalism,  and how to seek calm in the everyday.  Please comment with what you might be interested in seeing on the blog about personal growth and living a meaningful and intentional life.

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Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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The Power of Self-Talk: What it is and How it Works

Personal Growth Journey

Self-talk can be self-destructive or it can be an amazing tool that you use to promote optimism and grow more confident in your everyday life. What is self-talk and how does it help you to move forward in your personal growth journey?

I first became aware of self-talk when I started teaching preschool. I was taught that as a teacher, I had to demonstrate self-talk to my students. I had to intentionally share my thoughts out loud to show them my thought process whenever I read a book or completed a model activity. I was modeling self-talk so that my students could think more like me with a strong sense of reasoning and curiosity.

Later on, I discovered that we as adults engage in self-talk ALL THE TIME. We tell ourselves things that influence the way we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us. We tell ourselves things that shape our outlook about almost everything in our lives. I realized recently that some of my self-talk could sometimes be negative and has increased my anxiety, stress, and pessimism in certain areas of my life.

We create our own realities through our self-talk. If I tell myself that a tough situation is scary and negative, then I condition my brain to believe it. If I tell myself that a tough situation is temporary and I am going to grow through it, I also believe that. It is important that we use our self-talk to uplift ourselves, to condition ourselves to believe the positive about a situation or person, and to condition ourselves to believe the best about OURSELVES.

I often find myself anxious, tense, stressed because I have engaged in negative self-talk. We all find ourselves in that place, telling ourselves the worst. But, we have to recognize that place and change it when we do.

I believe that self-talk is extremely powerful. When I find myself in an anxious and uneasy place, I sometimes reflect on the things I have told myself and how they have become my reality, my world. I have completely immersed myself in ideas that I have conditioned myself to believe.

An important step toward self-love and acceptance is positive self-talk. Using this tool can change your mindset instantly about a situation, a person or yourself. Try the statements listed below and note the shift in energy that you experience almost instantly. Validate yourself, encourage yourself, create your own reality.

 

Positive Self-Talk

  • It’s not that bad
  • I am warranted in my decision
  • I feel this way because ________________ and that is valid.
  • I am strong and this situation is temporary.
  • I am intelligent and I can navigate this.
  • If  __________ happens, I will react by ___________.  That is the best I can do.
  • I have no control over ____________, but I can control how I react.
  • This is not a big deal. The worst that could happen is _____________________.
  • I am kind, I am strong, I am amazing.
  • This situation doesn’t define me.

 

Come up with some positive self-talk of your own and comment below.

What have you been telling yourself? Does it promote positivity and growth? How can you change your self talk to create a new reality?

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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3 Ways to Get Motivated When you Feel Like Doing Absolutely Nothing

Personal Growth Journey

On Sunday, I woke up and followed my normal weekend routine. I rolled over, turned on some tv and started scrolling my social media accounts (all bad habits btw that completely go against my normal morning routine). But I share that to make a point. Getting motivated to accomplish things when you feel like doing absolutely nothing is HARD. It is undeniably one of the biggest daily challenges I face on the days I am not working.

I think about my goals every day and I reflect on them. My goals have the ability to move me sometimes. But most times, I’d rather sit and watch tv, read a book, and relax. That is perfectly okay sometimes. But when you spend too much of your free time relaxing, you find that you don’t have time to do all the things you need to do to accomplish your goals, spend time enjoying your hobbies, and get your odds and ends done.

Anyways, back to Sunday; I was able to turn a seemingly lazy day into a very productive one by just doing a few things. I suggest doing the following to get motivated when you really don’t feel like doing anything at all.

  1. Think about your whys.

Your whys are the reasons behind wanting to accomplish your goals. For example, a goal of mine is to exercise twice a week. The reason that goal is important to me is because I want to have a healthier and more physically fit body. I have also read that physical activity can decrease chronic pain and help with stress. Those are all reasons that I strive to exercise twice a week and those reasons motivate me to look at the result of my action rather than the action itself. The idea of exercising doesn’t make me want to get up and go to the gym. But, the idea of a better body and decreased anxiety does! Write down your whys near your goals and always revisit them.

2. Reward yourself.

Rewarding yourself can be an amazing motivator to help get you moving. It works for me more often than not. I often have to promise myself something to motivate me to do activities that I have anxiety about or that I just really don’t feel like doing. For example, I sometimes promise myself that if I get up and go to the gym for 30 minutes,  I can spend an hour watching a show I love.  This works like a charm for me. Simply try to use what you like to motivate you.

3. Take the first step

I’d say on average I spend way more time dreading doing an activity than it would take to just get up and do it. The hardest part of getting something done is always just taking the first step. So, do it. Stop thinking about it and take the first step. Once you do, every step after that is ten times easier. That first step might be getting out of bed or going out the door. Half the battle is won once you take the first step toward doing anything.

 

I believe that these steps are key to getting things done when stress, anxiety, fear, are all trying to keep you from getting motivated enough to take action. It can also be helpful to have an accountability partner and to build strong habits/routines. Accomplishing your goals and living the life you want is up to you.

 

What is the hardest part of getting motivated for you? How can you reward yourself? What is the first step that you always struggle with?

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Thanks for reading!

 

Lacey Alanna

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Intuition and How it Has Completely Changed the Way I Make Decisions

Personal Growth Journey

 

Intuition is a new buzzword that people are using to talk about self-improvement and personal growth. I’ve heard it in several podcasts, Youtube videos, and personal growth blogs. But what is intuition really? How do we use it to influence our every day?  I literally used to ask myself those very questions when I would hear the word. I never got a clear answer until I started my own personal growth journey last year.

I used to really struggle with decision-making. Whenever it was time to make a major decision, I would make pros and cons lists, google related advice, avoid coming to a decision, and just be extremely stressed, overwhelmed, and confused. Decision-making never had to be that hard! It was when I started making major decisions about my career that I learned how to use intuition to help me make the right decisions.

Intuition is the art of knowing. It’s knowing what is best for yourself based on a feeling. When I made the decision to quit my teaching job to work on my masters degree and explore my passions (travel, entrepreneurship), I made a list of pros and cons. I googled “qutting teaching” and “should I quit my job” and read forums filled with opinions every day. I knew that I loved teaching but I also knew that I would never be sure if it was the right path for me unless I ventured into something else.

I asked people for their advice constantly on whether I should be a flight attendant, looking for my perfect answer from someone else. What I found was that I was looking for certain answers to the questions that I was asking. I wanted people to tell me to go for it, to quit my job and go to flight attendant training. That was what I really wanted to do and I was waiting for someone else to validate a decision I had already made within my self.

Intuition is all about your true desires and what is right for you. As I searched for answers from outside sources, I realized that the answer was within me and really I was just searching for validation from other places. I know it sounds cliche but we know our heart’s desires and our visions for ourselves.

It is logical to make decisions based on your goals for yourself. It is intuitive to make decisions based on how you feel about certain situations in a moment or series of moments. Intuition is about following that voice, that inner voice that speaks when you think long and hard about the decision that faces you.

Here are some concrete ways I started using my intuition to guide my decision making:

  • I decided not to do things that made me feel weary, uneasy, or gave me overall negative vibes. Plain and simple.
  • When asking for advice, I would pay close attention to the answers that it seemed I was looking for. You have to admit that when you ask for advice, usually you know what you want to hear. That is your deepest desire, that thing you want to hear, that thing you want to be encouraged to do.

Becoming more in tune with my intuition has been a game changer for me, like seriously. I find myself less dissatisfied with the decisions I am making because I am listening to and following my instincts on situations that are right for me and those that might not be such a good fit.

What decisions are you faced with at the moment? How can you improve your ability to use your intuition in your decision-making process? What can you do to channel your intuition more everyday?

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Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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Why I Quit My Job AGAIN After Only a Month, Intuition, and What’s Next

Personal Growth Journey

   I really grappled with the decision to continue to update readers of the blog on my career decisions and changes. I struggled with deciding whether I should bare it all or keep things impersonal and solely help YOU to make YOUR own rules for your life. I went through phases of feeling like a quitter or a failure because things turned out differently than I thought they would. I went through feelings of being afraid that people would look at me a certain way or project negativity on to me because of my career decisions.  I also got over it fairly quickly.

     I decided to share my personal growth journey with readers simply because doing so aligns with my mission for this blog and this brand (read the “About” page for more on the specifics). I’m here to truly touch people’s lives in a real and helpful way.  I never want to stop sharing my stories and personal experiences if they can move others in the same way that they have moved me. Read on to find out why I quit my job as a flight attendant after only a month and what my overarching themes will be for the next year and beyond.

     As I prepared for Flight Attendant Training, I thought that this new career was going to be a welcome change. It would give me a mental break from teaching (my previous career), give me time to work on my Masters Degree, and give me the opportunity to explore my passions, I thought. I was so excited and so prepared. I didn’t care about the pay cut, the nights away from home, the rigorous training. I just wanted to travel the world for  F R E E  and live life adventurously while getting paid to do it!

I completed training, relocated to my new base (Minneapolis, MN), and began working. I liked being a flight attendant. It was easy, fun, and I got to travel for free on my limited off days.

So why did I quit?

The problem was me. The job was not a good spiritual fit for me as I felt a decreased sense of purpose in my work. In addition to the extreme financial struggles, health issues caused by flying, a crazy loaded work schedule, decreased time for family and my relationship, and adoption of a nomadic lifestyle, the job simply did not align with the life goals that I had recently rewritten for myself.  Many of the goals I set for myself for 3 years, 5 years, and life would be extremely difficult to accomplish working as a flight attendant. Therefore,  I made the decision that I would quit my job as a flight attendant and seek joy in other passions that were more aligned with my goals.

What’s next for me?

  • More Blogging!
  • Coaching
  • Entreprenuership
  • Masters Degree!
  • More Service to others
  • Intention in EVERYTHING I choose to do

Before I end this post, I want to take a few moments to discuss the importance of knowing and following your intuition. Intuition can be a difficult concept to understand because it is so elusive and is not black and white. I knew I needed to move on after only a month because I felt disconnected and misaligned with my purpose in my role as a flight attendant. It was a feeling of knowing that I had. No one can tell you what decisions to make, what to do with your career, when to quit your job, or whether a path is right for you. It is simply a combination of trial and error mixed with a lot of following your gut. Follow your intuition no matter what and I guarantee you’ll always be glad you did.

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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What To Do When You Land Your Dream Job and It Sucks

Personal Growth Journey

You prepared for the interview for days, maybe weeks for the job of your dreams. You bought an amazing interview outfit and you even visualized yourself in that office, or work space over and over. You watched you tube videos or maybe did an online search to learn as much as you could about this gig. You may have asked other people in the position about its perks, sought advice, and obsessed over the prospect of this new position, new pay, new start.  So you land the job and then you realize…you aren’t nearly as happy as you thought you’d be. Your anxious excitement has turned into stress and dread.

Look in the mirror

Sometimes people find themselves looking for something,  but then never really find it. People often want a new job, new clothes, new pay, new friends, a new town and think that if they get those things, everything would be a million times better for them. Sometimes things really do get better, but sometimes they don’t. Ask yourself, are you afraid of failure? Are you overthinking it? Are you in your own head with negativity? If you are, stop. Be more positive about the job and reflect on why you wanted it in the first place.

Re-invest in yourself

If you really dislike the job, spend some time investing in yourself. Re-visit your goals, wants, needs, and life’s purpose. Then make sure that your current position aligns with your overall vision for yourself and your life.  Figure out what you can do to work toward those things daily from your current position. If there is a misalignment then you may be in the wrong career. If you aren’t goal-setting and reflecting daily or even weekly then you may have trouble finding the alignment between your career and life goals. In that case, read my post on daily reflections and goal-setting linked below!

https://laceyalanna.com/2017/12/02/how-goal-setting-daily-reflections-will-change-your-life/

Remember that you are NOT a failure 

If the job doesn’t work out for you, that doesn’t make you a failure. YOU define your own success no matter what. Whether you leave the job or decide to make the best of it and stay positive is up to you and how you choose to feel about that decision is up to YOU. As long as you are happy on your journey, you have succeeded in some sense. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion affect how you define success in your life. To read more about how to make your own rules in spite of other’s opinions, read my post from last week:

https://laceyalanna.com/2017/12/11/i-dont-care-what-people-think-making-your-own-rules-about-peoples-opinions/

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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“I Don’t Care What People Think”: Making Your Own Rules About People’s Opinions

Personal Growth Journey

People always make it known that they don’t care about the opinions of others. It’s like rule number 1 in the whole self-acceptance, self-love stratosphere. Everyone’s favorite stance is the whole “I don’t care what other people think” stance which is one I completely agree with having. However, I didn’t always think that way and I’m mindful that there are so many people who are still navigating through what it means to make their own rules as far as people’s opinions go. It isn’t about not caring what people think. Making your own rules and leading a peaceful life is about ceasing to internalize the opinions of others to the point of losing yourself.

If we are being honest, that is a place that I am not too far removed from. It is only in the last 4 to 6 months that I have really stopped internalizing people’s opinions about my decisions and my life in general. That means I lived almost 25 whole years living my life to some extent based on what other people had to say in place of how I felt. These are some of the ways that I stopped making decisions and basing my existence on how others felt and started making my own rules about how I could effectively use feedback in my life.

     Have confidence in your decisions and in the way you live your life… I mean you are making your own rules, right? If you are making decisions in an effective way that produces the best outcomes for YOU, then you have no reason to lack confidence in those decisions. The only way that people’s negative opinions about your decisions and your life affect you is if you aren’t confident in your decisions and your life to start with. There have been so many times when people had negative things to say about the way I live my life (i.e. “why did she quit teaching? why would she want to be a flight attendant? why are you doing it this way? That’s crazy!”). There were also many times in the beginning that I didn’t feel confident that the decisions I was making were the best ones. Those were the times that the negativity affected me most. Don’t let that happen to you. When you are confident, no comments or opinions can ruin what you have going on.

Don’t reveal every move to every person… There are so many people who are super important to me. I value those individuals, I seek their advice (not their approval), and I care to hear opinions, of course. However, everyone in your life is not one of those individuals. I say that to emphasize the importance of letting decisions and your life in general play out. Social media is such a HUGE part of how we interact with other people and how some people seek approval, but we have to remember that everyone doesn’t need to know every detail of our lives. There are certain things that I choose to keep private and I RARELY make announcements about my life on social media. That has been in major part, due to the fact that it can be so hard to find approval within yourself, let alone approval from others. Don’t tell everyone every move because everyone does not deserve a place at the table where your life’s rules are written. You decide who gets a place and who doesn’t, bottom line.

Decide who your people are and why. I mean really, decide who gets a seat at that table we talked about and why you are granting them that position. Also, be sure that you are giving those valuable voices a place to give you advice, to help talk you through the difficult things, but not a place to grant or deny their approval for your decisions. My mom’s opinion is always important to me because she’s so smart and she is often affected by my decisions. However, her opinion is not often a deciding factor on anything for me. I love my people and I have my reasons for the trust that I have in their voices, but my voice is always the loudest. The reason for that is that at the end of the day, when you are in the solitude of your mind, you have to face yourself. You have to live with the rules that you have written for yourself, the plans that you’ve made, the life you have built. So decide.

Are you seeking advice or approval? How do you incorporate feedback without internalizing opinions? To whom are you revealing your moves and why? Who are your people and why? What will you do today to make your own rules about people’s opinions?

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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