Diary of a 20 something, Personal Growth Journey

For the past few weeks, I have been swamped at work. I have been surviving on crackers, breakfast bars, and 5 hours of sleep. I have been eating takeout and drowning in mostly job dissatisfaction and a little bit of “I hate that I don’t have enough time to…”. Trying to “adult” is truly so hard and there is really no other way to say that. It’s that weird time in my life when I have to learn how to perform a balancing act. However, I’m  continually dropping the balls of life and trying to re-focus my efforts. During these times, what helps me the most is taking a day, an afternoon, even an evening to get my sh*t together. Sound familiar? Read on for details on my GYST routine.

The following list of things is just a bunch of stuff I do when my life is something like organized chaos and I am barely getting everything done. This is simply a list of things you can do for a soft reset on a tough week or month or to just re-focus yourself and organize your life if you are feeling unbalanced.

  1. Declutter

When I’m feeling super out of whack, I literally go through my clothing, shoes, accessories, household items, old mail, and get rid of any unwanted items. I make space, organize items, and just remove anything that is outdated, no longer needed, and generally no longer brining me satisfaction. Later on, I can replace the items with new ones or make the decision to just do without them. For example, I declutter my closet and every so often I find at least 6-7 clothing items I either sell or donate. The lack of clutter can also bring much needed mental clarity by clearing up physical space.

2. Clean

I mean I guess this one seems obvious, right? When I feel like I need to reset my life, I always clean and organize. I take the time to deep clean things like laundering every dirty or frequently used item in the house, including not only clothing but rugs, kitchen linens, and throw pillows.  I wipe down or dust hard surfaces and rearrange items in the house for a more polished or organized look. I am always sure to put laundry away neatly and sometimes I organize that messy towel cabinet or dish cabinet that needs attention. Try to clean or organize something that you have been wanting to clean for a while. It generally gives you a sense of accomplishment to check it off your mental to-do list.

3. Light candles & journal

Seems like a bit of an odd combination, but this can be really relaxing to do as I sit in a clean, well organized room in my house. Burning essential oils or lighting candles gives your place a relaxed vibe and journaling is an important part of self care. When I am performing my GYST routine, I usually take time to write down things I am grateful for and some things I want to manifest into my life in the next week or maybe month. I have so many different kinds of journals that I use to really invest time in myself when life gets hectic.

4. Meal Prep for the next couple days or just cook something

Honestly, cooking doesn’t happen as often as it should sometimes in my house because at the end of a long day sometimes cooking is the last thing on my mind. Part of my GYST routine is to cook a large meal that I can possibly continue to eat for the following couple of days. It makes me feel so organized because its one less thing I have to do. I can use my time the next day working on some other thing on my to do list. Once it has been done, cooking makes me feel like I have plenty of time to get things done. the illusion of time in tun makes me feel like I have it together. Also, being able to grab a pre-made healthy lunch and just go to work is probably one of the best feelings known to man or woman.

5. Plan

Put together a to-do list, update your calendar and planner, and just organize your agenda. This is so important because it really puts you on the right track to staying organized for a while. Making sure that your agenda is solid and you have reset your method of organization of dates and plans really makes things a little bit easier, especially when you stay consistent. Make a to-do list of all the small things that have been getting overlooked like making that doctor’s appointment, going to the dmv, getting an oil change, etc. This step will motivate you to get those little things done and feel more organized in the process.

There are so many other things you can incorporate into your GYST routine. Please comment below with things that you do when you need to get it together and get organized after rough week or month.

Sincerely,

Lacey Alanna

5 Ways to Navigate Feeling Lost in Your 20’s

Personal Growth Journey

All week, I have been planning on writing a travel post about relocation and why I have relocated twice since I graduated from college. That post will definitely come later if people are interested. But, my intuition told me to write this post because of where I am currently. I thought that a post about this weird millenial, quarter-life crisis thing that most people experience in their 20s (and really at any time) would speak to so many people.

Sometimes I tend to get overwhelmed and have a lost feeling when it comes to my career and my life’s work. I literally feel unfulfilled and like there are a million things I should be doing, a million places I could be. But, part of me has no idea what those things are and what those places could be. These are things that I do to help me to navigate those times when I feel like I have no freaking clue about anything! Sometimes, I get overwhelmed by the amount of possibility that life offers compared with the potential I feel that I have. Then I end up feeling defeated and overwhelmed. It happens but this is how I find my way when it seems impossible…

 

  1. Revisit Life Goals: When you feel lost, it is super helpful to revisit your life goals. What have you done lately to push yourself to reach those goals? What things are you doing today to help you reach those goals? What will you do this week to help you reach those goals? This motivates me in every way to get up and go do something that really contributes to accomplishing a goal. In the grand scheme of things, you have a lot to accomplish and a lot to be passionate about. Once you have written down your life goals, you have more direction for your life than you think. Most of the things you do should be related to reaching those goals in some way. Read them, internalize them, and make moves.
  2. Find Inspiration: When you feel like you lack direction, listen to a podcast, watch a Youtube video, read a personal growth blog or book. You should be dedicating some time each day to this. I find myself feeling the most lost when I haven’t invested time into myself and my personal growth. Invest in yourself so that you have passion and dedication to give to everything in your life. A lack of direction causes a lack of passion and that is something that begins to diminish your ability to reach the goals you have set for yourself. My personal favorite Youtubers are KalynNicholson, LavendaireLifestyle, and AmbrosiaMalbrough. I love listening to GaryVee on IG or his Podcast. There also several other Podcasts I love and listen to regularly for inspiration in addition to the books I read.
  3. Do Something You Love: Doing something engaging that you love and that ideally helps you to reach a life goal is an integral part of maintaining direction in your life. I love to write and so I find that posting to the blog actually makes me feel full and accomplished, even though I shy away from posting when I’m having a tough time navigating life. Do something that brings you energy and good vibrations. Do something that reminds you what you love and guides you back to what you want to ultimately accomplish in life.
  4. Remind yourself that YOU are in control: It is SO important to remember that we are in control of our own lives (God ultimately, but he gave us free will). If you are stuck, it is because you made a decision to be that way. We are not victims of our circumstances but creators of our reality. It is important to realize that if we want to be somewhere else, we can.  You can choose to do anything, be anything, go anywhere. Don’t choose to let it overwhelm you. Let it inspire you and motivate you to go in a direction and if you hate it, go a different way.
  5. Get in touch with your spirituality: My faith in god has allowed me to be able to meditate, engage in dialogue, and have some direction in and about my work. Having a spiritual place to go to regroup and reorganize the feelings you have about the purpose for your life has been absolutely life-changing for me. Find a spiritual place that works for you and lean into that when you are lost. Put your life into perspective. Ask yourself why you are here, now? Rewrite your life goals if you have to. Find a place that continuously pushes you back to your life’s purpose.

 

These are ways that I navigate through the times when I feel lost and uninspired. There are so many times when we go through those feelings of comparing ourselves to other 20 somethings, making difficult decisions that actually seem impossible, and just getting overwhelmed because we feel like we aren’t where we should be. Acknowledge those feelings, then let those feelings of anxiety die. Feed your purpose and your passions so much that they thrive.

 

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Letting Go Of Society’s Timelines for Your Life

Personal Growth Journey

There have been many moments where I have thought about my age and immediately started panicking about the fact that I haven’t accomplished something or reflecting on some insignificant measure of success. There have been times where I have literally given myself undue anxiety about the fact that I don’t own property (if you own property, that’s actually great).  Society measures success by a list of standards and most of those standards make a person LOOK successful rather than truly telling me anything about that person. What is success anyways? I’ve discussed in a previous post that we define our own success and are responsible for creating our standards of success for ourselves as individuals.

However, defining our success can be difficult when society has created timelines for nearly everything that we do in our lives from getting married to owning a home and even having children. Society literally says we should have our own business by a certain age, only switch careers before a certain age, and refuse to take risks if the timing isn’t perfect. I also published a post previously about refusing to limit yourself based on the ideas that you believe are “realistic”. Free your mind of the box that someone has labeled “For women younger than 30” or “For people who are over 50” or even “For people who have money, house, car, etc.”.

I’m beyond tired of people creating rules for when things should happen in other people’s lives and it isn’t going to stop. But what we can do is create our own rules and choose to live by a unique standard that truly inspires others. Your timeline may not fit everyone else’s because your story is unlike anyone else’s so do what suits YOU. Keep writing your own story and living your own truth while creating your own standards and timeline for success.

If you know me personally, you know that I look much younger than my actual age. In my career, my reality has been that people have underestimated my experience and skill set because of their perception of my age and what they feel that my experience should be. That is unfair because it impacts my career mobility if I am not highly communicative about my abilities and experience (even while displaying those abilities in the workplace). I say that to demonstrate that we can’t push our “should be” mentality on other people. We can’t go around placing things in boxes because they are operating on a different timeline from what society has taught us to expect.

I want you to think intentionally this week about the things that you want to accomplish, why, and when. I want you to reflect on your whys and be sure that they fulfill you and not just other people’s standards of success. Then pat yourself on the back for what you have accomplished already because it is a lot more than you think and there is no timeline except the one that society has created FOR you without your permission. Yeah, no thanks.

 

Lacey Alanna

 

 

How To Be A Realist Without Placing Limits on Yourself

Personal Growth Journey

During my career transition journey, I have found myself placing so many limits on myself, labeling it as realism. People often get confused about the differences between being a realist and placing limits on yourself. This misunderstanding is easy to have because the two are so closely related. However, it is SO important that we know the difference between the two so that we can live a life that fulfills us in the most amazing ways.

I don’t measure my success by other people’s standards and I don’t compare myself to others intentionally or as much as I used to in the past. Comparing myself less and doing fewer things just to make others happy with my choices was a huge part of my personal growth journey. However, I first began to notice that I was placing major limits on myself when my boyfriend told me not to take small opportunities when I knew I was worth more and to have the patience to wait for bigger and better. This was so enlightening for me and really empowered me to reach for bigger and better. I realized that I am enough and that there is no harm in shooting for opportunities that seem like a bit of a reach.

Planning for the launch of my vintage boutique has also made me realize that I have habitually placed limits on my potential. I found myself afraid to make certain decisions, postponing the launch over and over again because I am afraid of failure. I’ve looked at other boutique owners and thought that I wasn’t going to be as lucky to have such a successful business. I have succeeded to convince myself that I am not “them”. These are times when it is important to recognize that you can be realistic without ruling things out and placing limits on your potential or abilities.

So what is the difference between being a realist and placing limits on yourself?

When you are a simply a realist without placing limits on yourself, you make decisions based on a mixture of fact and intuition. You are “realistic” in your decision making but you don’t box yourself into a certain job or life. When you place limits on yourself, you allow negative self talk to convince you to go one way over another. When you place limits on yourself, your mind places a box around you and within it lie your abilities and your potential.

After realizing that I was placing limits on my potential, I realized that I was living carefully, inside certain boxes, on eggshells trying not to break any rules. I have moved away from that limited mindset by taking a shot at opportunities or activities that I may not have before. I have practiced envisioning myself doing things I may not have previously. Your mind can be your worst enemy or your greatest ally but I think you have to make that choice.

If you leave this post with nothing else, leave refusing to place limits on your potential. Live life intentionally but STAY OPEN. Don’t box yourself in and stick to the limits that your mind places on you to do things, avoid things, look, or live a certain way. Most importantly, step a little bit outside of your comfort zone from time to time. You might love it. If you hate it, you go back and try something else.

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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Career Update: What I’m Doing Now & My Lack of Inspiration

My Journey

Lately, I’ve been struggling with a lack of inspiration in my work. I want to be open about the fact that SURPRISE: I’ve returned to teaching for now. Also, I’m currently working on shopping for inventory for my online vintage boutique, which I am so excited about launching this year. I’m developing my blog and my brand in my off time. I’m so excited about journeying through personal growth and in that same space, exploring entrepreneurship and developing my own passions!

With all that going on, I’m facing some roadblocks in my creativity. Have you ever just felt uninspired and in a creativity rut? Ever felt like you were so bogged down by everyday struggles that you lost the fire that you had for your passions? I have felt just that lately. Feeling stuck and longing for guidance from intuition for next steps is a common thing. You are NOT alone and those feelings are valid. However, I believe so deeply in the work I’m doing. I have so much more to accomplish.

There are so many blog posts and articles on a lack of inspiration. I think that this is common among content creators, but there are so many things that you can do to get out of the rut and get back to work. The key is re-centering yourself, reflecting on your thoughts, and meditating to clear your head space. These are all things I’ve been working on to clear my own head space and create some amazing content for the site.

In the coming weeks, I will be talking about why I went back to teaching, minimalism,  and how to seek calm in the everyday.  Please comment with what you might be interested in seeing on the blog about personal growth and living a meaningful and intentional life.

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Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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The Power of Self-Talk: What it is and How it Works

Personal Growth Journey

Self-talk can be self-destructive or it can be an amazing tool that you use to promote optimism and grow more confident in your everyday life. What is self-talk and how does it help you to move forward in your personal growth journey?

I first became aware of self-talk when I started teaching preschool. I was taught that as a teacher, I had to demonstrate self-talk to my students. I had to intentionally share my thoughts out loud to show them my thought process whenever I read a book or completed a model activity. I was modeling self-talk so that my students could think more like me with a strong sense of reasoning and curiosity.

Later on, I discovered that we as adults engage in self-talk ALL THE TIME. We tell ourselves things that influence the way we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us. We tell ourselves things that shape our outlook about almost everything in our lives. I realized recently that some of my self-talk could sometimes be negative and has increased my anxiety, stress, and pessimism in certain areas of my life.

We create our own realities through our self-talk. If I tell myself that a tough situation is scary and negative, then I condition my brain to believe it. If I tell myself that a tough situation is temporary and I am going to grow through it, I also believe that. It is important that we use our self-talk to uplift ourselves, to condition ourselves to believe the positive about a situation or person, and to condition ourselves to believe the best about OURSELVES.

I often find myself anxious, tense, stressed because I have engaged in negative self-talk. We all find ourselves in that place, telling ourselves the worst. But, we have to recognize that place and change it when we do.

I believe that self-talk is extremely powerful. When I find myself in an anxious and uneasy place, I sometimes reflect on the things I have told myself and how they have become my reality, my world. I have completely immersed myself in ideas that I have conditioned myself to believe.

An important step toward self-love and acceptance is positive self-talk. Using this tool can change your mindset instantly about a situation, a person or yourself. Try the statements listed below and note the shift in energy that you experience almost instantly. Validate yourself, encourage yourself, create your own reality.

 

Positive Self-Talk

  • It’s not that bad
  • I am warranted in my decision
  • I feel this way because ________________ and that is valid.
  • I am strong and this situation is temporary.
  • I am intelligent and I can navigate this.
  • If  __________ happens, I will react by ___________.  That is the best I can do.
  • I have no control over ____________, but I can control how I react.
  • This is not a big deal. The worst that could happen is _____________________.
  • I am kind, I am strong, I am amazing.
  • This situation doesn’t define me.

 

Come up with some positive self-talk of your own and comment below.

What have you been telling yourself? Does it promote positivity and growth? How can you change your self talk to create a new reality?

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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3 Ways to Get Motivated When you Feel Like Doing Absolutely Nothing

Personal Growth Journey

On Sunday, I woke up and followed my normal weekend routine. I rolled over, turned on some tv and started scrolling my social media accounts (all bad habits btw that completely go against my normal morning routine). But I share that to make a point. Getting motivated to accomplish things when you feel like doing absolutely nothing is HARD. It is undeniably one of the biggest daily challenges I face on the days I am not working.

I think about my goals every day and I reflect on them. My goals have the ability to move me sometimes. But most times, I’d rather sit and watch tv, read a book, and relax. That is perfectly okay sometimes. But when you spend too much of your free time relaxing, you find that you don’t have time to do all the things you need to do to accomplish your goals, spend time enjoying your hobbies, and get your odds and ends done.

Anyways, back to Sunday; I was able to turn a seemingly lazy day into a very productive one by just doing a few things. I suggest doing the following to get motivated when you really don’t feel like doing anything at all.

  1. Think about your whys.

Your whys are the reasons behind wanting to accomplish your goals. For example, a goal of mine is to exercise twice a week. The reason that goal is important to me is because I want to have a healthier and more physically fit body. I have also read that physical activity can decrease chronic pain and help with stress. Those are all reasons that I strive to exercise twice a week and those reasons motivate me to look at the result of my action rather than the action itself. The idea of exercising doesn’t make me want to get up and go to the gym. But, the idea of a better body and decreased anxiety does! Write down your whys near your goals and always revisit them.

2. Reward yourself.

Rewarding yourself can be an amazing motivator to help get you moving. It works for me more often than not. I often have to promise myself something to motivate me to do activities that I have anxiety about or that I just really don’t feel like doing. For example, I sometimes promise myself that if I get up and go to the gym for 30 minutes,  I can spend an hour watching a show I love.  This works like a charm for me. Simply try to use what you like to motivate you.

3. Take the first step

I’d say on average I spend way more time dreading doing an activity than it would take to just get up and do it. The hardest part of getting something done is always just taking the first step. So, do it. Stop thinking about it and take the first step. Once you do, every step after that is ten times easier. That first step might be getting out of bed or going out the door. Half the battle is won once you take the first step toward doing anything.

 

I believe that these steps are key to getting things done when stress, anxiety, fear, are all trying to keep you from getting motivated enough to take action. It can also be helpful to have an accountability partner and to build strong habits/routines. Accomplishing your goals and living the life you want is up to you.

 

What is the hardest part of getting motivated for you? How can you reward yourself? What is the first step that you always struggle with?

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Thanks for reading!

 

Lacey Alanna

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Intuition and How it Has Completely Changed the Way I Make Decisions

Personal Growth Journey

 

Intuition is a new buzzword that people are using to talk about self-improvement and personal growth. I’ve heard it in several podcasts, Youtube videos, and personal growth blogs. But what is intuition really? How do we use it to influence our every day?  I literally used to ask myself those very questions when I would hear the word. I never got a clear answer until I started my own personal growth journey last year.

I used to really struggle with decision-making. Whenever it was time to make a major decision, I would make pros and cons lists, google related advice, avoid coming to a decision, and just be extremely stressed, overwhelmed, and confused. Decision-making never had to be that hard! It was when I started making major decisions about my career that I learned how to use intuition to help me make the right decisions.

Intuition is the art of knowing. It’s knowing what is best for yourself based on a feeling. When I made the decision to quit my teaching job to work on my masters degree and explore my passions (travel, entrepreneurship), I made a list of pros and cons. I googled “qutting teaching” and “should I quit my job” and read forums filled with opinions every day. I knew that I loved teaching but I also knew that I would never be sure if it was the right path for me unless I ventured into something else.

I asked people for their advice constantly on whether I should be a flight attendant, looking for my perfect answer from someone else. What I found was that I was looking for certain answers to the questions that I was asking. I wanted people to tell me to go for it, to quit my job and go to flight attendant training. That was what I really wanted to do and I was waiting for someone else to validate a decision I had already made within my self.

Intuition is all about your true desires and what is right for you. As I searched for answers from outside sources, I realized that the answer was within me and really I was just searching for validation from other places. I know it sounds cliche but we know our heart’s desires and our visions for ourselves.

It is logical to make decisions based on your goals for yourself. It is intuitive to make decisions based on how you feel about certain situations in a moment or series of moments. Intuition is about following that voice, that inner voice that speaks when you think long and hard about the decision that faces you.

Here are some concrete ways I started using my intuition to guide my decision making:

  • I decided not to do things that made me feel weary, uneasy, or gave me overall negative vibes. Plain and simple.
  • When asking for advice, I would pay close attention to the answers that it seemed I was looking for. You have to admit that when you ask for advice, usually you know what you want to hear. That is your deepest desire, that thing you want to hear, that thing you want to be encouraged to do.

Becoming more in tune with my intuition has been a game changer for me, like seriously. I find myself less dissatisfied with the decisions I am making because I am listening to and following my instincts on situations that are right for me and those that might not be such a good fit.

What decisions are you faced with at the moment? How can you improve your ability to use your intuition in your decision-making process? What can you do to channel your intuition more everyday?

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Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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My 2018 Manifesto, Goals, and Why I Don’t Believe in New Year Resolutions

Personal Growth Journey

Happy New Year!

I’m so excited about the new year,  not because anything will automatically be different because of the change of date. I’m excited because it is a great time to reflect and to begin concentrated effort on new goals for myself and my life. Before the end of 2017, I had been one of those humans that just lives, exists in the world. I was sort of living life as it comes, being more reactive than proactive about my life.

Today, I wanted to discuss the shifts in mindset that took place for me toward the middle to end of 2017 and how those shifts have contributed to my goals for 2018. In addition, I want to talk about why I believe that New Year Resolutions are a complete load of crap and how I set myself up for success in other ways.

During the last week of 2017, I carved out time to reflect on the past year. I realized how far I’ve come in my personal growth journey because as I reflected, I realized that I didn’t have any clear cut goals for last year . You’re probably like what?! Don’t be like I was…create goals! Here’s what I did differently in preparation for 2018 to give me a more clear, centered approach to measuring my success toward my lifelong goals at the end of the year:

  1. I created 5 goals for myself that I’d like to accomplish by the end of 2018. I chose to only create 5 big goals for the year because I wanted to be able to really focus my efforts this year. I think any more than 5 goals a year can get overwhelming, difficult to remember, and can cause a lack of focus in daily efforts. I picked 5 goals, just 5 that will ultimately lead me to the accomplishment of my life goals. If you haven’t created a list of life goals, subscribe and consider doing that first using my FREE 1 Year Goal Setting Worksheet you will receive.
  2. I chose a theme for the year. My theme for this year is “Be consistent, stay focused”. All 5 of my goals for the year are centered around this theme.  I wanted my goals to be cohesive and to build character. I have found that in the past I have lacked consistency and focus which has prevented me from building healthy and strong habits in many areas of my life. My mind goes back to the quote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is then not an act, but a habit”. The most successful people have strong habits that promote excellence across their lives. My theme is that extra push I need to build my character in a different way than I have in the past.
  3. I created a visual manifesto. I created a diagram pictured below that displays my hopes and dreams for the year. It illustrates the visions I have for myself in different areas of my life such as my finances, body, mind, and business. I have included a picture below of my manifesto with my personal goals listed to the right (covered with sticky notes), not fancy AT ALL. I am a visual person and this was a very important part of really gaining a cohesive and pertinent vision for myself. I hung this in my work area so that I can see it and internalize it daily. Knowing your goals and vision for yourself is an integral part of your personal growth and your ability to accomplish those goals and realize that vision.

Manifesto

Why I Don’t Believe in New Year Resolutions

I don’t believe in resolutions because they really aren’t effective. Let’s face it, no one sticks to their resolutions. However, goals are tangible and I think people should think about their motivation or their why for particular goals. That is what keeps you going when it gets difficult and you want to give up. Your whys are what make you fight harder to reach the goals you’ve set for yourself. Take a look at your whys when you get discouraged. Take a look at your visual manifesto when you lack focus. There is so much power in those tools. Creating a resolution each year with no implementation strategy is not living intentionally or proactively. Make your own rules about how you want to set and accomplish your goals but be strategic in the course of your journey.

What goals have you set for 2018 and beyond? What life goals have you set? What or who are your whys? What tools will you take from this post and implement for a successful year and life?

 

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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“I Don’t Care What People Think”: Making Your Own Rules About People’s Opinions

Personal Growth Journey

People always make it known that they don’t care about the opinions of others. It’s like rule number 1 in the whole self-acceptance, self-love stratosphere. Everyone’s favorite stance is the whole “I don’t care what other people think” stance which is one I completely agree with having. However, I didn’t always think that way and I’m mindful that there are so many people who are still navigating through what it means to make their own rules as far as people’s opinions go. It isn’t about not caring what people think. Making your own rules and leading a peaceful life is about ceasing to internalize the opinions of others to the point of losing yourself.

If we are being honest, that is a place that I am not too far removed from. It is only in the last 4 to 6 months that I have really stopped internalizing people’s opinions about my decisions and my life in general. That means I lived almost 25 whole years living my life to some extent based on what other people had to say in place of how I felt. These are some of the ways that I stopped making decisions and basing my existence on how others felt and started making my own rules about how I could effectively use feedback in my life.

     Have confidence in your decisions and in the way you live your life… I mean you are making your own rules, right? If you are making decisions in an effective way that produces the best outcomes for YOU, then you have no reason to lack confidence in those decisions. The only way that people’s negative opinions about your decisions and your life affect you is if you aren’t confident in your decisions and your life to start with. There have been so many times when people had negative things to say about the way I live my life (i.e. “why did she quit teaching? why would she want to be a flight attendant? why are you doing it this way? That’s crazy!”). There were also many times in the beginning that I didn’t feel confident that the decisions I was making were the best ones. Those were the times that the negativity affected me most. Don’t let that happen to you. When you are confident, no comments or opinions can ruin what you have going on.

Don’t reveal every move to every person… There are so many people who are super important to me. I value those individuals, I seek their advice (not their approval), and I care to hear opinions, of course. However, everyone in your life is not one of those individuals. I say that to emphasize the importance of letting decisions and your life in general play out. Social media is such a HUGE part of how we interact with other people and how some people seek approval, but we have to remember that everyone doesn’t need to know every detail of our lives. There are certain things that I choose to keep private and I RARELY make announcements about my life on social media. That has been in major part, due to the fact that it can be so hard to find approval within yourself, let alone approval from others. Don’t tell everyone every move because everyone does not deserve a place at the table where your life’s rules are written. You decide who gets a place and who doesn’t, bottom line.

Decide who your people are and why. I mean really, decide who gets a seat at that table we talked about and why you are granting them that position. Also, be sure that you are giving those valuable voices a place to give you advice, to help talk you through the difficult things, but not a place to grant or deny their approval for your decisions. My mom’s opinion is always important to me because she’s so smart and she is often affected by my decisions. However, her opinion is not often a deciding factor on anything for me. I love my people and I have my reasons for the trust that I have in their voices, but my voice is always the loudest. The reason for that is that at the end of the day, when you are in the solitude of your mind, you have to face yourself. You have to live with the rules that you have written for yourself, the plans that you’ve made, the life you have built. So decide.

Are you seeking advice or approval? How do you incorporate feedback without internalizing opinions? To whom are you revealing your moves and why? Who are your people and why? What will you do today to make your own rules about people’s opinions?

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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