How To Be A Realist Without Placing Limits on Yourself

Personal Growth Journey

During my career transition journey, I have found myself placing so many limits on myself, labeling it as realism. People often get confused about the differences between being a realist and placing limits on yourself. This misunderstanding is easy to have because the two are so closely related. However, it is SO important that we know the difference between the two so that we can live a life that fulfills us in the most amazing ways.

I don’t measure my success by other people’s standards and I don’t compare myself to others intentionally or as much as I used to in the past. Comparing myself less and doing fewer things just to make others happy with my choices was a huge part of my personal growth journey. However, I first began to notice that I was placing major limits on myself when my boyfriend told me not to take small opportunities when I knew I was worth more and to have the patience to wait for bigger and better. This was so enlightening for me and really empowered me to reach for bigger and better. I realized that I am enough and that there is no harm in shooting for opportunities that seem like a bit of a reach.

Planning for the launch of my vintage boutique has also made me realize that I have habitually placed limits on my potential. I found myself afraid to make certain decisions, postponing the launch over and over again because I am afraid of failure. I’ve looked at other boutique owners and thought that I wasn’t going to be as lucky to have such a successful business. I have succeeded to convince myself that I am not “them”. These are times when it is important to recognize that you can be realistic without ruling things out and placing limits on your potential or abilities.

So what is the difference between being a realist and placing limits on yourself?

When you are a simply a realist without placing limits on yourself, you make decisions based on a mixture of fact and intuition. You are “realistic” in your decision making but you don’t box yourself into a certain job or life. When you place limits on yourself, you allow negative self talk to convince you to go one way over another. When you place limits on yourself, your mind places a box around you and within it lie your abilities and your potential.

After realizing that I was placing limits on my potential, I realized that I was living carefully, inside certain boxes, on eggshells trying not to break any rules. I have moved away from that limited mindset by taking a shot at opportunities or activities that I may not have before. I have practiced envisioning myself doing things I may not have previously. Your mind can be your worst enemy or your greatest ally but I think you have to make that choice.

If you leave this post with nothing else, leave refusing to place limits on your potential. Live life intentionally but STAY OPEN. Don’t box yourself in and stick to the limits that your mind places on you to do things, avoid things, look, or live a certain way. Most importantly, step a little bit outside of your comfort zone from time to time. You might love it. If you hate it, you go back and try something else.

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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Why I Quit My Job AGAIN After Only a Month, Intuition, and What’s Next

Personal Growth Journey

   I really grappled with the decision to continue to update readers of the blog on my career decisions and changes. I struggled with deciding whether I should bare it all or keep things impersonal and solely help YOU to make YOUR own rules for your life. I went through phases of feeling like a quitter or a failure because things turned out differently than I thought they would. I went through feelings of being afraid that people would look at me a certain way or project negativity on to me because of my career decisions.  I also got over it fairly quickly.

     I decided to share my personal growth journey with readers simply because doing so aligns with my mission for this blog and this brand (read the “About” page for more on the specifics). I’m here to truly touch people’s lives in a real and helpful way.  I never want to stop sharing my stories and personal experiences if they can move others in the same way that they have moved me. Read on to find out why I quit my job as a flight attendant after only a month and what my overarching themes will be for the next year and beyond.

     As I prepared for Flight Attendant Training, I thought that this new career was going to be a welcome change. It would give me a mental break from teaching (my previous career), give me time to work on my Masters Degree, and give me the opportunity to explore my passions, I thought. I was so excited and so prepared. I didn’t care about the pay cut, the nights away from home, the rigorous training. I just wanted to travel the world for  F R E E  and live life adventurously while getting paid to do it!

I completed training, relocated to my new base (Minneapolis, MN), and began working. I liked being a flight attendant. It was easy, fun, and I got to travel for free on my limited off days.

So why did I quit?

The problem was me. The job was not a good spiritual fit for me as I felt a decreased sense of purpose in my work. In addition to the extreme financial struggles, health issues caused by flying, a crazy loaded work schedule, decreased time for family and my relationship, and adoption of a nomadic lifestyle, the job simply did not align with the life goals that I had recently rewritten for myself.  Many of the goals I set for myself for 3 years, 5 years, and life would be extremely difficult to accomplish working as a flight attendant. Therefore,  I made the decision that I would quit my job as a flight attendant and seek joy in other passions that were more aligned with my goals.

What’s next for me?

  • More Blogging!
  • Coaching
  • Entreprenuership
  • Masters Degree!
  • More Service to others
  • Intention in EVERYTHING I choose to do

Before I end this post, I want to take a few moments to discuss the importance of knowing and following your intuition. Intuition can be a difficult concept to understand because it is so elusive and is not black and white. I knew I needed to move on after only a month because I felt disconnected and misaligned with my purpose in my role as a flight attendant. It was a feeling of knowing that I had. No one can tell you what decisions to make, what to do with your career, when to quit your job, or whether a path is right for you. It is simply a combination of trial and error mixed with a lot of following your gut. Follow your intuition no matter what and I guarantee you’ll always be glad you did.

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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What To Do When You Land Your Dream Job and It Sucks

Personal Growth Journey

You prepared for the interview for days, maybe weeks for the job of your dreams. You bought an amazing interview outfit and you even visualized yourself in that office, or work space over and over. You watched you tube videos or maybe did an online search to learn as much as you could about this gig. You may have asked other people in the position about its perks, sought advice, and obsessed over the prospect of this new position, new pay, new start.  So you land the job and then you realize…you aren’t nearly as happy as you thought you’d be. Your anxious excitement has turned into stress and dread.

Look in the mirror

Sometimes people find themselves looking for something,  but then never really find it. People often want a new job, new clothes, new pay, new friends, a new town and think that if they get those things, everything would be a million times better for them. Sometimes things really do get better, but sometimes they don’t. Ask yourself, are you afraid of failure? Are you overthinking it? Are you in your own head with negativity? If you are, stop. Be more positive about the job and reflect on why you wanted it in the first place.

Re-invest in yourself

If you really dislike the job, spend some time investing in yourself. Re-visit your goals, wants, needs, and life’s purpose. Then make sure that your current position aligns with your overall vision for yourself and your life.  Figure out what you can do to work toward those things daily from your current position. If there is a misalignment then you may be in the wrong career. If you aren’t goal-setting and reflecting daily or even weekly then you may have trouble finding the alignment between your career and life goals. In that case, read my post on daily reflections and goal-setting linked below!

https://laceyalanna.com/2017/12/02/how-goal-setting-daily-reflections-will-change-your-life/

Remember that you are NOT a failure 

If the job doesn’t work out for you, that doesn’t make you a failure. YOU define your own success no matter what. Whether you leave the job or decide to make the best of it and stay positive is up to you and how you choose to feel about that decision is up to YOU. As long as you are happy on your journey, you have succeeded in some sense. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion affect how you define success in your life. To read more about how to make your own rules in spite of other’s opinions, read my post from last week:

https://laceyalanna.com/2017/12/11/i-dont-care-what-people-think-making-your-own-rules-about-peoples-opinions/

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

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“I Don’t Care What People Think”: Making Your Own Rules About People’s Opinions

Personal Growth Journey

People always make it known that they don’t care about the opinions of others. It’s like rule number 1 in the whole self-acceptance, self-love stratosphere. Everyone’s favorite stance is the whole “I don’t care what other people think” stance which is one I completely agree with having. However, I didn’t always think that way and I’m mindful that there are so many people who are still navigating through what it means to make their own rules as far as people’s opinions go. It isn’t about not caring what people think. Making your own rules and leading a peaceful life is about ceasing to internalize the opinions of others to the point of losing yourself.

If we are being honest, that is a place that I am not too far removed from. It is only in the last 4 to 6 months that I have really stopped internalizing people’s opinions about my decisions and my life in general. That means I lived almost 25 whole years living my life to some extent based on what other people had to say in place of how I felt. These are some of the ways that I stopped making decisions and basing my existence on how others felt and started making my own rules about how I could effectively use feedback in my life.

     Have confidence in your decisions and in the way you live your life… I mean you are making your own rules, right? If you are making decisions in an effective way that produces the best outcomes for YOU, then you have no reason to lack confidence in those decisions. The only way that people’s negative opinions about your decisions and your life affect you is if you aren’t confident in your decisions and your life to start with. There have been so many times when people had negative things to say about the way I live my life (i.e. “why did she quit teaching? why would she want to be a flight attendant? why are you doing it this way? That’s crazy!”). There were also many times in the beginning that I didn’t feel confident that the decisions I was making were the best ones. Those were the times that the negativity affected me most. Don’t let that happen to you. When you are confident, no comments or opinions can ruin what you have going on.

Don’t reveal every move to every person… There are so many people who are super important to me. I value those individuals, I seek their advice (not their approval), and I care to hear opinions, of course. However, everyone in your life is not one of those individuals. I say that to emphasize the importance of letting decisions and your life in general play out. Social media is such a HUGE part of how we interact with other people and how some people seek approval, but we have to remember that everyone doesn’t need to know every detail of our lives. There are certain things that I choose to keep private and I RARELY make announcements about my life on social media. That has been in major part, due to the fact that it can be so hard to find approval within yourself, let alone approval from others. Don’t tell everyone every move because everyone does not deserve a place at the table where your life’s rules are written. You decide who gets a place and who doesn’t, bottom line.

Decide who your people are and why. I mean really, decide who gets a seat at that table we talked about and why you are granting them that position. Also, be sure that you are giving those valuable voices a place to give you advice, to help talk you through the difficult things, but not a place to grant or deny their approval for your decisions. My mom’s opinion is always important to me because she’s so smart and she is often affected by my decisions. However, her opinion is not often a deciding factor on anything for me. I love my people and I have my reasons for the trust that I have in their voices, but my voice is always the loudest. The reason for that is that at the end of the day, when you are in the solitude of your mind, you have to face yourself. You have to live with the rules that you have written for yourself, the plans that you’ve made, the life you have built. So decide.

Are you seeking advice or approval? How do you incorporate feedback without internalizing opinions? To whom are you revealing your moves and why? Who are your people and why? What will you do today to make your own rules about people’s opinions?

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna

 

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25 Means I Make the Rules.

Personal Growth Journey

I have been writing drafts of posts for the last two weeks, promising myself that I will find the perfect words to finish them. However, in honor of turning a quarter century old, I wanted to start over and reflect on things I’ve learned thus far as it relates to where I am right now in my life and the themes I see for myself now and in the future. I wanted to share these things with you just in case you’re at the same place or you find yourself here and you’re looking for someone to say “I was there too” like I am.

A few months ago, I quit my career and did something totally different. It has certainly been a journey, even if not the journey I expected it to be. I took the road less traveled by and by and here I am. I’m at an intersection between old things, new things, self discovery, and living life with purpose. I appreciate that I will never wonder “what if” about certain decisions in my life, even if those decisions ended up turning out differently than expected. I will live knowing that I tried and I conquered difficult things even if those things weren’t necessarily my purpose or my calling. That experience and growth is the foundation for the growth that I will share with you below…

So I’m 25 and I’m still not 100 percent sure what I want to do with my life.  In the past I knew what I wanted but wondered how I would get there, if I would get there. I found myself second-guessing decisions that I made, wondering how they would impact my future. I found myself doubting more often because it’s so hard to be sure of anything at this age. I found myself caring too much what others would think because I wanted to be fun, fabulous, beautiful,  and successful. I wanted other people to think those things about me and about my life and what they see.  I had a lot of questions and not enough answers about how to live my very best life. Most importantly, I measured success by the standards of others and not by my own.

With that being said I’ve learned so much in the past 6 months, more than I have time to list. Lets be honest, flight attending with a regional airline wasn’t what I thought it would be by a long shot and that is totally okay. However, I want to share that the things I want at 25 are not the same as what I wanted at younger ages.  NOW, I want a successful blog where I can reach followers who are like me, wondering how to navigate the waters of living a fulfilling life. NOW, I want a successful business that impacts people and will leave the world better than it was in some small way.

The difference between myself at 20,21,22,23 and myself NOW is that I make the rules, I break the rules, and I always win. NOW, I am in control and I can do whatever makes me happy. NOW, I know that things don’t always work out as planned but they work out how they are supposed to and that makes all the difference.

Whatever year of life this is for you, own it. YOU make the rules and you break them if you want. You come out on top no matter what and absolutely anything is possible if you want it to be. There are gonna be many times when you change your mind, you come up with a better plan, you rewrite the plan. 25 for me will be a year of self-love, self-discovery, doing what I love, and making my own rules. I’ve lived and I’ve conquered so much already. I look forward to taking this blog to the next level and conquering even more challenges that lie ahead and writing my own story, plot twists included.

What have you done just to say you did it? What rules have you written for yourself, void of the judgments and opinions of others? How have you defined success for yourself and not by the standards of others?

See you in the friendly skies.

Snapchat: Laceyalanna

IG: Laceyalannam

 

 

 

Flight Attendant Training: My Very First Week…Kinda (Days 1-9)

Personal Growth Journey

I am writing this from Day 9 of training, my day OFF! It’s so crazy to think that a month ago I was anxiously waiting for my first day of flight attendant training and now I’m on day 9 out of 31!

So I want to catch you up on what has happened thus far since I’ve been in Salt Lake City, Utah and some things I’ve learned since I’ve been on the “other side”.

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Above: The cute Clarks mentioned in my previous post =)

First of all, I love being in training for this amazing “job”. Like, I’m gonna be a flight attendant for real, if everything goes as planned for the next 22 days.

I got here last Wednesday and got assigned a suite with 2 other people. It’s a 2 bedroom suite with 2 beds and a pullout sofa which definitely made for some interesting introductions. My first day here, I just literally had to pick my jaw up off of the floor to take in the beauty of the first real mountains I’ve ever seen. Salt Lake is not really what I expected, but beautiful still. I was surprised that it is not a huge city and doesn’t seem to have much going on socially (especially with all the restrictions on alcohol), thus far (unless I’m missing the whole picture which could totally be possible).

Days 1-9 have included two trips Walmart, two exams (which I passed, yay!), some cool hands on stuff with aircraft emergency equipment, a uniform fitting ( I live for my future flight attendant uniform!), and a few great nights with some new people I’ve met since my time here. I am excited to start flying in less than a month and I am super thankful for this opportunity. I mean I am gonna get paid to travel, how PERFECT.

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Above: What you look like when there is a 10 am report time =)

I don’t want to share anything that I am not allowed to share. However, I do want to leave some helpful hints about training with my airline or other airlines, maybe some things I wish I knew BEFORE Day 9 so here goes…

  • Make shopping lists prior to Walmart trips – you will only have an hour to shop which gets pretty crazy
  • Bring a luggage tote with wheels to carry to class everyday, not a shoulder bag as recommended in my previous post. You will get heavy required items that you will be carrying everyday. Save your back and shoulders.
  • SAVE MONEY SAVE MONEY SAVE MORE MONEY. Enough said.
  • Leave room in your suitcase to take home uniforms after training. Don’t over pack.
  • Sleep as much as possible, you will need it to stay alert and focused in class.
  • Take lots of snacks to class to keep you awake and pack a light lunch to prevent midday drowsiness. Also, try to meal prep for a few days at a time to help with time management.
  • Be kind and help others. When you are helpful and kind to your classmates, they will return the favor and look out for you when you need it through sickness, sad days, and whatever else you might go through during training. These things happen to everyone and you don’t know what battles others are fighting.
  • Use down time to review material. There’s a lot of it and exposing yourself to material as often as possible prepares you to pass exams and be ready to perform job duties thoroughly on the line.
  • Don’t forget to drink water. It helps amidst the 10 cups of coffee you need to stay awake in class.
  • Figure out how you’re going to stay awake in class! This is so hard for me and “Death by Powerpoint” is a real thing.
  • Bring your favorite food items from home because you only get a ride to Walmart and they were missing SO MANY of my favorite snacks. It’s nice to have a couple comforts from home.
  • Accept any free food or snacks you are offered. Seriously, take advantage and save money!
  • Relax, don’t stress too much about exams. Listen in class and try to think about how you will apply your knowledge out on line. It naturally helps you to retain information.
  • Try to regulate your sleep schedule. It’s been tough because class has different starting and ending times every day! However, try to stick to a bed time and wake time that is the same everyday so that you aren’t going nuts with all the different wake times and bed times. My body likes regularity and routine, so my rest is much higher quality when routinized.Otherwise, I have a hard time staying awake through all those powerpoints. lol

 

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Above: What you look like when you haven’t regulated your sleep schedule

So, these are some things that I have learned over the past 9 days and have become really important in helping me to get through training. I’m having a blast so far and I’ve met some amazing people. Now, I’m working hard to learn the material and looking forward to Graduation day. The 9 days has gone by soooooo fast and I know that I’m going to look back and wonder where the time went. If you have any questions, please please please reach out. If you have completed flight attendant training and have things to add that helped you get your wings, please comment below! If you are headed to training, good luck!

 

See you in the friendly skies!

Don’t forget to follow…

IG: Laceyalannam

Snapchat: Laceyalanna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Took the Road Less Traveled Part 2 – What’s Next??!

Personal Growth Journey

Yesterday for the first time in the two months since I quit my job as a teacher, I broke down and asked myself “What the h*ll are you doing?”. “Why would you quit your salaried job for the unknown?”, “Why would you give up everything (money, being able to pay all your bills, being able to shop often) to travel?”, “Whats the next big move and how will you top all your previous accomplishments?”.

When you decide to make some major changes and regain control of your life, these are questions you ask yourself. If you have anxiety, its extremely hard not to let the worry take over and literally convince you that you may be making bad decisions or that you are ruining your life. I’ve gone through so many phases on this journey that have included literally anticipating the absolute worst about pursuing a career doing something I’ve literally always loved doing.  Anyways with all that being said, I am so excited because there are like a million things I want to do and I wanted to write this post to share those things with people and maybe motivate someone who is thinking of taking a major leap of faith.

So here are the reasons I decided to leave my career as an educator and explore other avenues of work.

  • I wanted more time to explore my interests, passions, ideas. Teaching sucked up so much of my time because it is work that you constantly take home.
  • I wanted a job that would allow me to travel more regularly. (As a teacher breaks were great, but burnout and exhaustion that needed to be handled over the breaks were not.)
  • I wanted to put more time into some business ideas that I had and a blog which I have been able to start.
  • I literally wanted more freedom and control over my time and head space.
  • I need to eventually be working for myself, therefore I need a job that allows me free time to develop my business ideas and work toward self-employment.

For me, leaving my job was a great decision and was right for me. Don’t all go quitting your jobs at once!  Just evaluate the things in your life that you want to change and simply change them. I can’t stress this enough. My biggest takeaway from all of this is that I am in control and so are you. If you don’t like something, change it. If you hate your job, change it. If you dislike your partner, change it. If you are unhappy for any reason, do your best to change it and don’t be afraid to make some sacrifices in the process.

So, a lot of people want to know what’s next for me. I love to travel, I love to write, and so of course after lots of interviewing, thinking, making sacrifices, my next stop on this journey is…….

 

FLIGHT ATTENDANT TRAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See you in the friendly skies!

I Took the Road Less Traveled Part 1

Personal Growth Journey

This post is the first part of my journey to becoming a flight attendant…how and why I quit teaching . If interested, please read on……

     If you know me, you know that I accidentally fell into teaching early grades after college.  I did not study education in college and I had no interest in being a teacher but it happened and it was good. I found myself developing the determination to get better at teaching, to be the best I could be, to be recognized, and to change outcomes for kids in low-income neighborhoods. So, I set out to do that and somehow found myself working in my classroom 6 – 7 days a week, sometimes 12, 14, 16 hours a day.  My perfectionism,  passion, determination turned into obsession and complete insanity. I found myself never feeling “done” at school. I found myself always striving for better student outcomes on weekly assessments, better /more efficient workstations for students to use each day, better systems and procedures for students. There is nothing wrong with being a great educator and there’s nothing wrong with caring and investing yourself. However, my personal investment became all of my waking hours, anxiety, and mental energy.

 

Graduation

Meanwhile, I had moved across the country from Washington, DC to Houston, TX to work for a charter school organization that I had admired for years and grew to believe could launch my career in a new direction.  As my only school year working at this organization continued, I completely lost myself, everything I loved, everything I believed in, I had completely sacrificed. I had pressure from admin to have great scores, pressure from parents to be the perfect caregiver, and pressure from myself to be the perfect everything.

Spring came and I got to the point where I would daydream during school days about being free and being just about anywhere else. I would dream about all the things I would rather be doing and missed having time for. So many things happened that I can’t share here but a day came when I had my first panic attack and that was the moment that changed things for me. The stakes became higher because I was now sacrificing my mental health, stability, and peace for an  organization of which I had no real ownership.

Late spring came and I had begun seeing a therapist for anxiety that was completely out of control. I was also completely mentally checked out of teaching and although all of my students had made their learning goals for the year and 90 percent of my parents were satisfied at the end of the year, I thought that it wasn’t fair to families that I wasn’t at my best anymore. Summer vacation was approaching and as promising as that seemed, I knew that 2 months wouldn’t fix me. Two months wouldn’t prepare me for another year of this, another year of my life investing everything I have into something that requires sacrificing everything I love. I loved my kids to death and I was a good teacher but if there is one thing I have learned, it is that we should never continue to do things we are good at if we are so moved to do something else. I took the road less traveled and I resigned from my teaching position. No, I don’t regret it and yes I feel freaking amazing. This is where my journey has begun but certainly not where it ends…

 

 

 

Classroom

I still love all my kiddos =)