Relationship Storytime: Is that another Woman’s Hair?

I am so excited to be writing this post because it is highly requested. Many of my single girl friends want the tea on my pre-engaged dating life. I want to start this by saying that we, as women don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy or to fulfill our life’s purpose! That is not ever the point of my message and I want to uplift and encourage those who are in a single season, especially those who are happy as a single. Know that you are more than enough and that you are complete on your own! Now, of course many single ladies want to find a great partner and build a healthy relationship and I am also rooting for ya’ll!

I will definitely be writing a separate holistic post about my dating life before my current relationship. It was a mess but needs its own post to be fully described in all of its glory! I want to share mistakes, lessons, takeaways, and just empower women to be smart when dating.

However, THIS post is about one guy in particular that I was talking to a few years ago when I was living in Texas. At the time, I was so confused about our “relationship” and so many things still didn’t make sense until recently. Yes, I have been with my fiancé for over 3.5 years but growth is about learning from past mistakes, especially as a Christian who wants to teach my daughters the proper way to date and build meaningful relationships. My past is a part of the woman I have become and that is why this story resonates with me still.

Sometimes, we find ourselves in sticky dating situations and this was one of those for me. It is embarrassing, but I want to share because if I this post or any information I share can help one person avoid being that girl then, that is good enough for me!

At the time referenced in this story, I was online dating and looking for a serious relationship. I wanted to be committed and possibly start the road to marriage. However, I am throwing shade to my former self by saying I was completely oblivious and naive. Anyways, let’s get into the story…

A couple years ago, in Texas, I had joined an unnamed online dating app and met a guy who we will call Mark. I won’t describe him here but at the time, Mark was definitely my type physically, had a southern accent, and was in grad school but originally from another city (outside the immediate area where we lived).

Mark and I talked for a couple of months. We would go out, chill at his apartment, and we even went to a concert together! Ya’ll, once he took me to this concert of a big name artist, I was thinking “wow, he really likes me because he spent money on these tickets and chose to take ME?!”. At this point, everything is going great and I’m spending a lot of time (nights) at his apartment. There are a couple of specific memories that stand out to me from the time we “dated”. Below is an actual selfie I took before the concert. lol.

First was my birthday…I just remember he definitely told me happy birthday but there was no mention of meeting up, a gift, a card, going out for dinner or anything. I don’t depend on guys for anything but my thought was since we were talking and had been for a couple months (maybe 2 at this point), that he would at least take me to dinner. When I complained about the lack of a gift or gesture for my birthday, he apologized and invited me out to dinner the next night. Where did he take me?… a Korean bbq wing spot. LOL. Ya’ll, I was like ummmm what? Of course, I convinced myself that he was a grad student, so maybe he wasn’t balling out of control and I let it go. I was annoyed but I was not dwelling on that. I enjoyed my wings and I was somewhat satisfied with the gesture. Plus I didn’t want to get mad because he didn’t have the money to take me out to a real restaurant. I know, I know, ya’ll are probably fully rolling your eyes at this point already.

Next I remember, he had to leave for the weekend to go back to his hometown to visit his family. Sounds legit because he was from outside the area and he was living there for school, plus his family lived in a town that was driving distance from the city we lived in. Well, the weekend comes and goes and when he gets back, he invites me over. He had a desk in his room where he had like school books, a backpack, laptop, etc. I was at his apartment and saw some bundles of hair on the desk next to his backpack. I asked about the hair, specifically who it belonged to and he responded that he got it for a female friend. He said he had a hookup with bundles in his hometown and this female friend asked him to bring some bundles back to school. I was skeptical about this and I think this is the moment when I started to have concerns about whether this guy was involved with other women. Like, what man has bundles in his bedroom for a friend? lol. I mean, possible but just not very likely. At this point, we gradually stopped hanging out because I was naive, but not utterly clueless. We would still talk from time to time until our relationship kind of fizzled out completely.

Honestly though, I was embarrassed. We have all been there, talking to someone that we had no business talking to and for far too long. I had successfully convinced myself that I didn’t need to hold this man to a high standard by making excuses several times for him.

Over the next year, Mark texted and called me trying to talk again multiple times, even after I was in a relationship with my now, fiancé. He was told off several times as well and eventually had to be blocked.

Now, I did not find out the whole truth about the situation with Mark until very recently (like within the last 6 months). Somehow, he came up on the “people you may know” on Facebook, so I decided to browse his profile out of curiosity (not because I care) and ya’ll my mouth was on the floor. He now has two children, the oldest had to be born around the time we were talking, if not very soon after (that math says that his baby’s mother was at least pregnant when we were talking). I also discovered that he is now married to the child’s mother and from the dates on his “Happy Anniversary to my gorgeous wife” posts, he got married a couple of months after we stopped talking and they were definitely together at that time. So, Mark had a whole family or was building one when we were talking? Yup.

I am now happily engaged and relieved that I dodged that bullet in some ways and found a man who would never. The point is, I definitely had to kiss a few frogs before I found my prince.

There are several morals to this story that I’m going to let YOU put in the comments down below. lol.

My wedding is in 57 days as I am writing this and I couldn’t be more excited or more relaxed really! Everyone keeps implying that I must be so stressed as a “covid bride”, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I have read several blog posts about brides who are devastated that their big wedding has been cancelled or postponed and I see and hear all those feelings and they are valid. However, this is not one of those posts! This post is about how to proceed after you have moved past your grief and despair. I really cope with feelings by springing into action and creating a solid plan which is what I’ve done with this wedding as well.

I wanted to use this space to share some of the things that my fiancé and I are doing to make our wedding more “safe”. When we cancelled our larger wedding due to Covid, we decided to still get married and use the money we saved toward buying a home next year. The perfect solution was to have a “micro-wedding” which is currently a very popular concept in the midst of the pandemic. Essentially, we cancelled our large hotel venue and will be having our wedding at an AirBnB with less than 30 guests in attendance.

When we initially decided to cancel the larger wedding, I had a very, very hard time finding any resources. I couldn’t find any published tips on making my wedding safer in like a podcast, blog, or YouTube video form. I mean, I found nothing!

So, I had to get creative and look to wedding forums, Pinterest, and news articles about conferences and events being held in the post-covid world because safety was our top priority. I could never find any detailed descriptions of how people actually pulled off a socially distant, safe wedding and got extremely frustrated feeling somewhat lost and stuck.

Now that we have organized our event and made some major changes using some innovative ideas, I am excited to share these tips so that maybe another bride can benefit from my research and skip over the feeling of being stuck when trying to curate a safe event.

Here are 10 things we are doing to make our wedding “socially distant”:

  1. Reducing our guest list – We went from 125 people to 25 people. This has saved us a ton of money and spared us a lot of anxiety about covid. We were really worried at the time that restrictions in our area might not be lifted for gatherings of that size in time. Even if they were, we didn’t feel like that was any assurance that it was safe to proceed with that many people and endanger the lives of our family members or myself (since I am immunocompromised). We will be setting up a livestream via Facebook for our guests that will not be attending in person.
  2. Serving cupcakes instead of cake and having only two people serve all the food- I mean this is a no brainer. This will definitely eliminate having to get the cake cut and hand out slices or having multiple people handling food, especially because we will not have a waitstaff for our micro-wedding.
  3. Setting up a dessert table with all boxed and bagged treats – They will of course, fit in with our decor and theme. But every treat will be individually boxed or bagged to make it an easy grab and go station at our wedding.
  4. Hosting games instead of a full night of dancing – We will be playing the wedding shoe game and our guests will watch first dances, parent dances, virtual and in-person toasts to take up a bunch of time and reduce the amount of time spent actually moving around and socializing.
  5. Serving appetizers in a to-go container – Again, the idea here is grab and go. We will of course be using compostable containers because I care about the environment, lol.
  6. Open bar featuring mini-bottles of alcohol- There’s a theme here. We will be setting up a grab and go drink station where people can pick up a pre-made mini bag of ice, mini bottle of liquor and/or a non-alcoholic drink. We will be purchasing a ton of mini liquor bottles of a bunch of varieties. Guests can take these back to their table and make a drink at their seat. Again, we don’t have waitstaff and this was the easiest way to prevent congestion and pouring of large shared bottles into glasses. Gross! The only thing that will be full sized is the champagne for the toast and that will be pre-poured into unused glasses by one family member. My fiancé and I will also have our own specialty beverages like a really good wine for us to share.
  7. Socially distanced seats and seating by household- We will be seating our guests with those individuals that they either live with or are staying with. The goal is to keep households to gather to reduce exposure. We have about 8 tables for 25 people, so it’s serious.
  8. Holding the ceremony and reception outdoors – Truly praying that is doesn’t rain that day and that fall comes late like it did last year! Holding everything outdoors decreases the risk of the spread of covid since there is more air flow obviously.
  9. Requiring masks in certain areas – Essentially in the kitchen when being served food, at food/drink stations, and when walking around the venue indoors people will be required to wear a mask.
  10. Giving out personal hand sanitizer spray and masks as wedding favors upon entry – We will also have sanitizer at every station. However, we feel it’s best to arm our guests with their own as well. It will be a DIY recipe using really strong alcohol of course.

**As a bonus, we are also sending out information on free testing sites and encouraging our guests to get tested a week or two before the wedding. this is not required but, it is just a little extra assurance.

I’m so grateful that we still get to have our wedding and that love will win, even during a very dark time. I’d love to answer any questions you have about planning a wedding during a pandemic. Comment or visit my Instagram to follow my wedding planning journey.

Thank you so much if you have read to this point. It means the world to me that people actually read the blog and I hope that it helps even just one person.

Recently, in my search for new makeup and skincare products, I have discovered that 1. I am allergic to everything and 2. there are so many harmful ingredients in the things we use everyday. We use cleaning and beauty products in our homes and expose ourselves, pets, and children to these chemicals and irritants. The fact that I will be starting a family soon has made me become especially critical of the ingredients in the products we use every single day. Even if you don’t have sensitive skin, you have to wonder if the products you are using are safe or irritating and causing unknown harmful effects that might manifest themselves later in life. A simple google search of the ingredients in your favorite products can be frightening!

For a bit of context, I have always had sensitive skin and severe seasonal allergies. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to use products containing heavy artificial fragrances, artificial dyes, or heavy metals. With that being said, I have tried a wide range of hypoallergenic products and many of them have still been irritating to my skin or caused an adverse reaction of some kind.

So many products that are out here being advertised as “Hypoallergenic”, “Organic”, “All-natural”, are not any of that and corporations are collecting your hard-earned coin and giving you a false sense of security about how they were made and what they contain. I have experienced it so many times and it has made life very difficult because I have never felt like I could 100% trust household or cosmetic brands. So I decided to start making my own products or buying them from small businesses.

Here are 4 products that I have started making at home on my own that have been just as effective as products from major brands. They also are pretty inexpensive to make. The biggest investment is usually in some essential oils that you really like from a reputable company:

  1. Laundry Detergent

This recipe is one that I really just started and there are a ton of variations floating around online. I love it because it works really well for a “natural” detergent. I used free clear detergents for years but hated the wasteful feeling I got from using plastic containers. I also found that those detergents had many chemicals I couldn’t pronounce and it made me question whether I was okay with not knowing what I was even using or exposing myself to. With this detergent, I would pretreat heavy stains or heavily soiled items with vinegar before washing. If you want a stronger detergent, you can add borax or more salt depending on your personal preference and the chemicals you feel comfortable using. I prefer to use substances that are safe enough to eat in most cases.

2. Acne-Fighting Face Wash

As an adult, I developed pretty intense acne and could not use harsh chemicals on my skin because of its sensitivity. So I currently use black soap foaming face wash that many small businesses sell. However, it is really inexpensive to make. I use raw African black soap so it usually is really gritty and gooey when wet. If you let it sit in water, it turns into liquid soap pretty easily and will probably do so in less than 7 days. It is very strong, so this is not a wash that I use twice a day. It is best to use either once a day or every other day on your face. It can be used on your body as well and fights acne, eczema, and other skin conditions. It does not have very much of a small but you can add essential oil if you’d like. I prefer not to use any sort of fragrance, even natural on my face so I just use the soap by itself.

3. Hair/Scalp Oil

This oil mixture works great for hair growth, moisturization, and scalp care especially for natural hair. I make this oil mixture and massage it into my scalp almost every night. I am in the process of deciding whether I want to lock my hair so, this mixture has been a life saver. I also have experienced some hair loss in some places and have used this mixture to try to stimulate hair growth. Be sure to use a spray bottle or glass bottle with a dropper that can actually spray thicker oils, a water bottle sprayer will not work.

4. Room/Fabric Refresher Spray

This spray is a staple at my house! My fiancé and I both use it faithfully all over the house for all purposes. I usually pick an essential oil fragrance based on the room or purpose. My favorite scent is lavender for the bedroom. I usually spray it all over the sheets before bed or in the morning when I make the bed. I use a mixture with alcohol instead of witch hazel to disinfect clothing (newly purchased or worn to the store or out in public) and my fiancé loves it! I also use this spray to keep the clothing & linen closets and other fabric surfaces (sofa and dog beds) smelling fresh particularly in between washes.

***Dark colored glass bottles must be used for this to maintain the integrity of essential oils. They can spoil if they are not stored in a cool, dark environment.

I also use a ton of other natural products for common household purposes.

Let me know in the comments if you have any recommendations for household cleaners or beauty products that can be made at home with little effort and investment!

Adulting has been filled with big girl paychecks, financial growth, love (a whole engagement), career growth, learning my passions, and growing my faith. However, adulting has NOT been full of making new friends. I will give a disclaimer that this is my truth and that everything you are about to read is a reflection of my thoughts on my experience. Your experiences of course, will be based on so many personal factors like personality, level of involvement in activities, etc..

I am an introvert who loves long conversations but is exhausted by meeting and engaging with strangers. I get anxiety about having to meet new people, not knowing what to expect, and so on. I love my people and I have a hard time with new ones. However, as an adult, I have wanted to make new friends and have definitely tried my hardest not to let anxiety affect how I show up in new friendships.

All that said, it has been hard af to make new friends and especially as a black woman! I still have my college friends, but they live all over the country and I have one to two childhood friends left from my pre-college days who don’t live in my immediate area. The older I have gotten, the more I wonder when my adult social life will flourish. My adulthood has been full of very short or very one-sided friendships. I’ve met women who were amazing and then I relocated and they stopped responding to calls and texts. I’ve met women that whisked me into a world of lopsided effort and crooked expectations. I’ve met a couple women who I have developed bonds with over travel or a season of similar careers and interests. But I admittedly haven’t had a best adult friend, a go-to person I could consistently count on, and most certainly not in the same geographic area.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this, talking about it with my therapist, praying about it, and trying to figure out how to let my “vibe” attract my “tribe”, in the words of a million corny Pinterest and Instagram quote graphics. I’ve even done some things differently like gone to meet-ups using the meet-ups app which is waayyyyyyy outside my comfort zone. I don’t think many things could be much more uncomfortable socially for me. I have also used friend finder apps which was a major fail. I joined a church, just a few short weeks before covid upended all of our lives. As of late, covid and quarantine have made making new friends completely impossible for anyone, especially if you are truly trying to be socially distant.

In addition to my personality and characteristics, I think that there are some factors that can be barriers for any woman trying to make new friends as an adult. I have listed those things below:

  • Work Schedules/ Time ( Work hours, commute time, etc.) – people don’t have as much time as they did when they were younger to devote to new friendships especially without roommates.
  • Serious relationships/family (being engaged, married, or having kids) – having a family or a spouse takes up a lot of time can can be a barrier for women looking to grow new friendships
  • Established friend groups – people have their core group of friends by a certain age and tend to stick with that group unless they relocate

On the contrary, my fiance makes new friends fairly easily as a man and also doesn’t deal with the added layer of “drama” that sometimes comes with navigating newfound friendships with women. So the point of this post is to reiterate that making friends as an adult woman is hard. Yes! I’m engaged (about to be married in 85 days) and I love my fiance who is also my best friend…BUT obviously, he is not a girl and women need women. Many women have shared these sentiments with me, mostly introverts like me and mostly in passing or on social media. Making friends as an adult is an “under construction” area of my life and I have no suggestions for how to do so in this post. However, I want to call out the fact that many women are challenged by this and don’t talk about it. I’ll take that a step further and say that many black women are even more challenged in dealing with friendship, duality, and being a black women in our society and the intersection of those things. That is definitely a topic for another time, though.

I would love to hear your experiences, thoughts, and truths in the comments.

In recent years, “self-care” has been a buzzword or phrase that is plastered just about everywhere! Literally, every other Facebook article, blog post, and self-help video is about the importance of self-care. These articles tell us the hows, whys, and whats of self-care that are supposed to help us to lead happier, less stressful lives. I totally get it; do a couple face masks, get a massage, take a weekend getaway, polish your nails, curl up with a glass of wine and a good book whilst taking a night off from your usual work.

Administrators always love to remind stressed, overworked, overwhelmed, teachers to “do something you enjoy” or “spend time with family” during the tough times throughout the school year. I mean after all, bosses have to say encouraging things to keep their employees and acknowledge their pain, right? However, what I’m not quite buying is the whole “self-care yourself through the toxic situation” mindset especially when the to-do list feels absolutely never-ending.

I don’t have a problem with the actual act of being kind to yourself. We should be gentle with ourselves, love ourselves, and most importantly treat ourselves well. We only get one mind and one vessel. It is soooo important to heal ourselves from our every day emotional labor and physical work. There is space for this kind of self-care. Self-care is important and that means something different to everyone. I can’t deny any of that. In fact, I believe all of that.

Here is where the issue lies. The issue lies in settling for a life you don’t want and coping with your choices by practicing “self-care”. If you continue to stay in toxic situations and forcing yourself to be content by going to a weekly yoga class or treating yourself to a massage, you are making a huge mistake. I don’t hate self-care by itself. But, it is absolutely gut-wrenching that people use self care to cope with their lives.

Self-care is not a band-aid for your toxic flesh wound of a relationship, job, or family issue. Self-care is not a remedy for having the life sucked out of you at a job you hate, being unhappy with someone who you have settled for, or continuing to have a relationship with a family member who turns your life upside down every time you speak. Self-care is not any of those things and self-care doesn’t

1. solve issues that exist in your life or

2. breathe life into dead situations that make your life less enjoyable.

Sometimes, self-care isn’t a facial, manicure, or binge watching a show on Netflix. Sometimes self-care actually presents an inconvenience to others and sometimes it makes others uncomfortable. Sometimes, it makes you unavailable for a while. Sometimes self-care is ceasing to feed dead situations. Sometimes self-care is travel.

Sometimes, self-care is walking away.

Relocation Series Part 2: Happiness is Not a Place

Welcome to the second post in my multi-blog series about relocating! This post will be one that is centered around the mental health issues that surround relocation to a certain extent. I think that people should be able to read this post and really evaluate their reasons for an upcoming relocation or even their reasons for wanting to relocate. This post might also help you to plan a crucial conversation with a family member or friend who is thinking of moving away.

A Bit of Background:

My relocation count is currently at 3ish with another planned for July 2019. My first taste of relocation was to a college over 250 miles away from home (6 hour drive). That relocation was so important for me and I truly consider that transition a relocation because I was 17 years old and I was only able to make it home a couple times a year (besides summer vacation, of course).

My second relocation happened after college graduation. I moved to a city about an hour away from my hometown. Although it was close by, I was in a whole new world and I had some amazing experiences!

Both of these relocations had one thing in common. In both of these instances, I moved away from issues that I faced in my life including family issues that caused anxiety. My mental health caused me to make decisions from a pretty young age that were based in fear and overwhelm rather than confidence and agency over my life.

EVERY TIME I moved out of fear or anxiety, I sought some sort of happiness that I realized was always going to be out of reach, unattainable. I realized that I went from place to place carrying my baggage with me, setting it down for a while and picking it back up again and again to move onto the next location yet again. Your problems follow you. Your emotions follow you. Your mental health or unhealth follows you. Time after time, I would move and find myself wondering; Why am I still unhappy? Why don’t I like it here?

On the contrary, my third relocation of over 1,400 miles as well as my pending relocation have both been for completely different reasons. I have had agency and ownership over these experiences. My mental health hasn’t really guided the decisions and that is the most freeing feeling.

The Whys of Relocation

The most important thing to be aware of is that relocation is not an answer to the problems we face in our current location. I know, because I’ve tried it and it never works. I want to make that very clear before I talk about my amazing experiences & adventures in the posts that follow. I don’t want to sensationalize relocation or long distance moves.

If you are suffering internally, handle it before or immediately after making a big move. Go to therapy, do some soul searching, reconnect with yourself. I only say this because there is one huge lesson I have learned from my many relocations and travel adventures; Happiness is not a place. Instead it is a state of mind that we merely carry with us in our travels.

Sincerely,

Lacey Alanna

Relocation Series Intro

Welcome back! I wanted to take the opportunity to write about relocation to kickoff my multiple blog series on making a big move. I would say I’m a bit of an expert on this topic considering that I’ve definitely relocated a time or two. As a matter of fact, this is my second time relocating over 1,000 miles.

Both times I decided to relocate, I received varied reactions ranging from shock at my “bravery” and “independence” to disappointment and questioning. However, I think that there is something about moving and starting over that is so freeing and liberating. People decide to relocate for many different reasons and everyone’s story is completely is different.

In this blog series, I want to cover several facets of relocation including the whys, hows, decision-making processes, and logistics. I want to answer people’s questions about my and maybe their own current or future relocations. What questions do you have about relocations and location manifestation?

4 Reasons to Travel Solo

This is a post that will be near and dear to my heart. I’ve grown so much and attribute much of that to having traveled solo. Traveling alone even once, especially as a young woman is life changing in so many ways. There are reasons beyond this post that I believe that traveling solo is a great idea. If you are a young woman, be open to traveling alone and the opportunities that come with traveling solo.

I have traveled by myself to Belize and Puerto Rico (kinda). I went to Puerto Rico and my roommates met me there but I spent most of the trip exploring San Juan alone because I had the desire to see some different things than my friends wanted to see. Here are 5 reasons why traveling solo can be wildly amazing, scary, but totally worth it.

1.You will develop a greater sense of independence.

Traveling alone requires a person to rely on their own ability to plan and execute the details of a trip. You have to book your flight and feel confident boarding that flight alone. Then, you have to book your hotel or hostel and check-in alone. After that, you get to spend your time however you see fit. However, I don’t think there are many more experiences in life that are more liberating than this. Doing what you want on your time is just a feeling unmatched. It is scary at first, but you may end up thriving on it.

2. You will get to know yourself better.

The time I’ve spent traveling solo have truly taught me so much about myself. There was the time I went on a private plane ride over the Blue Hole in Belize with 2 perfect strangers and LOVED IT. There was a time that I went shopping and enjoyed a solo meal in Old San Juan from sunrise to sunset by myself. I didn’t have the voices of friends in the background rushing me along. I didn’t have the rush of having some place else to be to make sure that everyone got to do what they wanted. I talked and laughed with shop owners and restaurant goers. I took photos of everything I thought looked nice and realized that I love small cobblestone streets and appreciate murals. My very own voice was the loudest in those moments and I could hear it more clearly than I probably ever had.

3. You will realize how strong, smart, and resourceful you are.

Imagine landing in a foreign country where the primary language is not English and you are now trying to figure out how to get from the airport to the city with minimal cell service and no understanding of the local language. Imagine figuring it out on your own. Imagine fearlessly and confidently taking control of the situation and getting sh*t handled. You are strong, smart, and resourceful even if you don’t know it yet.

4. You will want to travel solo again.

See the above reasons.

Oddly enough, you might actually like the feeling of independence, liberation, and freedom that solo travel provides. Solo travel isn’t for the faint of heart BUT it also is not that hard.

Comment below: Would you travel solo? Why or why not?

As always, please feel free to email with questions about solo travel or any travel.

Sincerely,

Lacey Alanna

There are SOOOOO many buzz words that are popular right now to describe the things that we would like to accomplish in the new year. Some people still call these “resolutions” which is a somewhat dated, but widely used.  Some people simply create yearly goals for themselves. However, lately the word “intention” has been highly popular and has stuck with those who take any interest in mindful living or practices.

Whatever you call these goals, coming up with a clear vision for your year and your life is super important. It has been said time and time again that we create our own realities. We manifest the things that happen in our lives. We visualize and speak truth over our lives, as crazy as it sounds. I one hundred and fifty percent believe this to be true whether in a positive or negative fashion. I believe that if I tell myself that I suck at something repeatedly, that will be my reality. If I tell myself that I will be wildly successful, then that will be my reality. Now, this doesn’t mean that suddenly I am going to sing like Whitney Houston or grow 6 inches and be an international supermodel at 26. What it means is that, so much is possible if we actually believe that good things can happen to us and that we are deserving of those good things. Being able to clearly define what you want to accomplish or be more aware of makes you more likely to make it happen in your life.

I wanted to share the intentions I have set for 2019 with you to motivate you to really think long and hard about what your focus is for this new year and for your life in general. Now, I do believe that goal-setting and intention-setting are a bit different. In my opinion, setting intentions is more like defining focus areas for your year rather than explicitly listing items one would like to accomplish in a checklist format. I think that intentions can have a more spiritual overtone and are about living your life on purpose in a different way than goals. However, I also believe that there is a ton of overlap between the two. So anyways, here is my short list of intentions for 2019:

  1. Build my business – I want to eventually work for myself completely so this is a no-brainer
  2. Take care of my body – I want to eat better, listen to my body, exercise sometimes, and rest when I need it
  3. Make more friends – I really want to master the art of making friends as an adult because as of now I could use some help in that department and that is OKAY.
  4. Buy a home – I literally just want to be cozy and have lots and lots of space in addition to creative control over the place.
  5. Slow downnnnnI want to be more present, work less, feel more, enjoy every moment.
  6. Travel often – This goes without saying but like literally I love traveling and I want to take every opportunity that comes.

If you haven’t set your intentions for 2019, think about what your high impact improvement areas are currently. I emphasized mental health this year because last year was mentally challenging for me and I saw through blogging and just talking to friends,  that we really do create our realities and have the power to shift those realities by making changes to our habits. A second high impact area for me was career/finances because I consistently struggle with fulfillment in any job, especially those with longer hours. I really wanted to focus this year on moving past my disdain for working for someone else and into my desire to live a life that is full of so much more than what I do for a living.

What are your intentions for this year? I’d love to hear some of your goals, resolutions, or intentions for 2019!

Sincerely,

Lacey Alanna