The Power of Self-Talk: What it is and How it Works

Self-talk can be self-destructive or it can be an amazing tool that you use to promote optimism and grow more confident in your everyday life. What is self-talk and how does it help you to move forward in your personal growth journey?

I first became aware of self-talk when I started teaching preschool. I was taught that as a teacher, I had to demonstrate self-talk to my students. I had to intentionally share my thoughts out loud to show them my thought process whenever I read a book or completed a model activity. I was modeling self-talk so that my students could think more like me with a strong sense of reasoning and curiosity.

Later on, I discovered that we as adults engage in self-talk ALL THE TIME. We tell ourselves things that influence the way we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us. We tell ourselves things that shape our outlook about almost everything in our lives. I realized recently that some of my self-talk could sometimes be negative and has increased my anxiety, stress, and pessimism in certain areas of my life.

We create our own realities through our self-talk. If I tell myself that a tough situation is scary and negative, then I condition my brain to believe it. If I tell myself that a tough situation is temporary and I am going to grow through it, I also believe that. It is important that we use our self-talk to uplift ourselves, to condition ourselves to believe the positive about a situation or person, and to condition ourselves to believe the best about OURSELVES.

I often find myself anxious, tense, stressed because I have engaged in negative self-talk. We all find ourselves in that place, telling ourselves the worst. But, we have to recognize that place and change it when we do.

I believe that self-talk is extremely powerful. When I find myself in an anxious and uneasy place, I sometimes reflect on the things I have told myself and how they have become my reality, my world. I have completely immersed myself in ideas that I have conditioned myself to believe.

An important step toward self-love and acceptance is positive self-talk. Using this tool can change your mindset instantly about a situation, a person or yourself. Try the statements listed below and note the shift in energy that you experience almost instantly. Validate yourself, encourage yourself, create your own reality.


Positive Self-Talk

  • It’s not that bad
  • I am warranted in my decision
  • I feel this way because ________________ and that is valid.
  • I am strong and this situation is temporary.
  • I am intelligent and I can navigate this.
  • If  __________ happens, I will react by ___________.  That is the best I can do.
  • I have no control over ____________, but I can control how I react.
  • This is not a big deal. The worst that could happen is _____________________.
  • I am kind, I am strong, I am amazing.
  • This situation doesn’t define me.


Come up with some positive self-talk of your own and comment below.

What have you been telling yourself? Does it promote positivity and growth? How can you change your self talk to create a new reality?

Thanks for reading!

Lacey Alanna


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